Marathon Chewing - Freelance

It seems like it has taken a long time to get here but the day has finally arrived for our Marathon Chewing event.  There are 2 categories, this one and the other one Authorized Chewing, so be sure to check them both out!  So, without further delay . . .  let the games begin!

Ready . . . set . . . Let the chewing begin!!!!

In the "Freelance Chewing" event:

Ivy is a highly experienced athlete in our "Freelance Chewing" division.  But don't let this little pup fool you, she is like portable dynamite when it comes to chewing!  She is Jazzi's Texas cousin and says of her skills, "We do everything bigger in Texas."

Betty White also hails from Texas and proves once and for all that southern girls show style and grace in their athletic events.  She chose her mom's  favorite Cole Haan with Nike air heels as the object on which to perform her event.  The judges nod at her choice (even if her "trainer" didn't).  

Coming from the UK, we have Declan  showing us that not only is a seat belt an enjoyable chew, but it is quite tasty as well!  It appears that he has overcome the difficulty of a metal separation device.  The judges note his determination and grit!  Such drive and skill is something we can all learn from!  (PS - For the rest of the seatbelt story click here.)

Bertie has come from Scotland to participate in this Olympic event.  However, he still is denying that he was the one who was chewing on the card.  This is being reviewed by the Olympic judges and rumor has it they are prepared to issue the official word to Bertie:  Busted Bertie, the teeth marks match!  But we all still love you anyway cuz you're so dang cute!

Peanuts appears to be in a total state of bliss with some good ol' shoe chew.  This is an athlete who enjoys the basics of a good unauthorized chew. She brought it to the judge's attention that no pesticides were used in the manufacture of the shoe.  It is her continued pursuit to make this sport a more ecology friendly event. Peanuts calls it "getting back to basics".  We have to admire her ethics in making her choice!

Frank loves the fact that his sport is not just fun but tasty as well!  He believes that bathroom towels are a delicious way to start the day.  The judges are wondering if this towel is blueberry flavored?  He is keeping an eye on the competition.  No one is going to sneak past this guy!

Mayzie says she did NOT chew this flip flop!  "Are you going to believe me or your lying eyes?" she wants to know.  Now, the judges did not personally witness this event but they're pretty sure she's GUILTY as charged!  However, no official declaration will be made until the DNA testing has been completed.

Roo  has selected lingerie as his freelance chewing subcategory.  We suspect that there have been many athletes who have tried time and time again to participate in this event but it takes determination and grit to reach this level of athleticism.  But wait . . . the judges have noticed something and are questioning the athlete.  Was he wearing the bra prior to chewing?  The judges noticed a strap appears to be still on Roo's left front leg.  But Roo assures them he did not violate the rules by wearing his chew subject.  Whew, that was a close one!  Go for the gold Roo!

Willow believes that her sport is best when it is also combined with functionality.  That is why she has assumed responsibility for her peep's appointments when she chews up their appointment cards!  The judges are impressed by her display of precision in the way she punctures the card with her teeth.  Willow is clearly no amateur and deserves to be in this competition!

This is an "ug oh!" moment for this athletic duo!  Lassiter Chase & Benjamin show off  their versatility in the way that they begin their event with chewing the wooden kitchen chair.  Many athletes would have stopped at this point, assuming that crossing the finish line was good enough.  But not this pair!  They exemplify teamwork with their continued chewing after duct tape is used to cover the original chew marks!  The judges are in awe with the thoroughness this team displays.  They are serious contenders for the gold!

Storm takes on the challenge of size.  Not every athlete would be willing to take on such a huge task as these cushions but Storm says there is nothing to fear because his training has given him the strength and agility to perform such a tough task at this high level.  The judges are impressed with the ease in which Storm appears to be handling the cushions and believe this is one athlete we all need to keep an eye on! 

Winnie is the type of athlete that likes to see functionality as part of her sport.  She has spend endless hours perfecting her skills so that she can chew open packages that arrive in the mail.  She can chew letters as well, considered a "courtesy chewing" but it is the challenge of the package chew that really captures her heart.  

Einstein is a master at this event and has recently offered to take on an apprentice in order to assure this talent is not lost within the Guinea Pig species.  He masterfully has chewed the bars on the cage to remove the pain.  At the same time he has trained his peeps to respond with food.  Here is proof once and for all that this event is not just all about brawn but brain as well! 

Darwin is in it for the pure love of the sport. he says he doesn't need any fancy medals to prove his worth as an athlete. The judges tend to agree with him and are mesmerized by the peaceful look on his face as he chews his cage. When an athlete loves his sport this much it makes those endless hours of training much easier. And the judges say that he may not need a fancy medal but he is clearly a contender for the gold! 

So there you have it folks, your 2012 Olympic Freelance Marathon Chewing event. I think we can all agree that these athletes represent the best of the best and are all worthy of standing on the platform with a gold medal around their neck!

Please feel free to copy the medal and display on your blog.  Thank you for participating in this event and stop by and see us again.  It his been our honor to serve as your hosts for this event.


Be sure to check out the Authorized Marathon Chewing post as well as the other event for today:   Puddles hosting Marathon Digging



Murphy & Stanley