Friday, August 3, 2012

Marathon Chewing - Freelance

It seems like it has taken a long time to get here but the day has finally arrived for our Marathon Chewing event.  There are 2 categories, this one and the other one Authorized Chewing, so be sure to check them both out!  So, without further delay . . .  let the games begin!

Ready . . . set . . . Let the chewing begin!!!!

In the "Freelance Chewing" event:

Ivy is a highly experienced athlete in our "Freelance Chewing" division.  But don't let this little pup fool you, she is like portable dynamite when it comes to chewing!  She is Jazzi's Texas cousin and says of her skills, "We do everything bigger in Texas."
Betty White also hails from Texas and proves once and for all that southern girls show style and grace in their athletic events.  She chose her mom's  favorite Cole Haan with Nike air heels as the object on which to perform her event.  The judges nod at her choice (even if her "trainer" didn't).  

Coming from the UK, we have Declan  showing us that not only is a seat belt an enjoyable chew, but it is quite tasty as well!  It appears that he has overcome the difficulty of a metal separation device.  The judges note his determination and grit!  Such drive and skill is something we can all learn from!  (PS - For the rest of the seatbelt story click here.)

Bertie has come from Scotland to participate in this Olympic event.  However, he still is denying that he was the one who was chewing on the card.  This is being reviewed by the Olympic judges and rumor has it they are prepared to issue the official word to Bertie:  Busted Bertie, the teeth marks match!  But we all still love you anyway cuz you're so dang cute!

Peanuts appears to be in a total state of bliss with some good ol' shoe chew.  This is an athlete who enjoys the basics of a good unauthorized chew. She brought it to the judge's attention that no pesticides were used in the manufacture of the shoe.  It is her continued pursuit to make this sport a more ecology friendly event. Peanuts calls it "getting back to basics".  We have to admire her ethics in making her choice!

Frank loves the fact that his sport is not just fun but tasty as well!  He believes that bathroom towels are a delicious way to start the day.  The judges are wondering if this towel is blueberry flavored?  He is keeping an eye on the competition.  No one is going to sneak past this guy!

Mayzie says she did NOT chew this flip flop!  "Are you going to believe me or your lying eyes?" she wants to know.  Now, the judges did not personally witness this event but they're pretty sure she's GUILTY as charged!  However, no official declaration will be made until the DNA testing has been completed.

Roo  has selected lingerie as his freelance chewing subcategory.  We suspect that there have been many athletes who have tried time and time again to participate in this event but it takes determination and grit to reach this level of athleticism.  But wait . . . the judges have noticed something and are questioning the athlete.  Was he wearing the bra prior to chewing?  The judges noticed a strap appears to be still on Roo's left front leg.  But Roo assures them he did not violate the rules by wearing his chew subject.  Whew, that was a close one!  Go for the gold Roo!
Willow believes that her sport is best when it is also combined with functionality.  That is why she has assumed responsibility for her peep's appointments when she chews up their appointment cards!  The judges are impressed by her display of precision in the way she punctures the card with her teeth.  Willow is clearly no amateur and deserves to be in this competition!

This is an "ug oh!" moment for this athletic duo!  Lassiter Chase & Benjamin show off  their versatility in the way that they begin their event with chewing the wooden kitchen chair.  Many athletes would have stopped at this point, assuming that crossing the finish line was good enough.  But not this pair!  They exemplify teamwork with their continued chewing after duct tape is used to cover the original chew marks!  The judges are in awe with the thoroughness this team displays.  They are serious contenders for the gold!

Storm takes on the challenge of size.  Not every athlete would be willing to take on such a huge task as these cushions but Storm says there is nothing to fear because his training has given him the strength and agility to perform such a tough task at this high level.  The judges are impressed with the ease in which Storm appears to be handling the cushions and believe this is one athlete we all need to keep an eye on! 

Winnie is the type of athlete that likes to see functionality as part of her sport.  She has spend endless hours perfecting her skills so that she can chew open packages that arrive in the mail.  She can chew letters as well, considered a "courtesy chewing" but it is the challenge of the package chew that really captures her heart.  
Einstein is a master at this event and has recently offered to take on an apprentice in order to assure this talent is not lost within the Guinea Pig species.  He masterfully has chewed the bars on the cage to remove the pain.  At the same time he has trained his peeps to respond with food.  Here is proof once and for all that this event is not just all about brawn but brain as well! 

Darwin is in it for the pure love of the sport. he says he doesn't need any fancy medals to prove his worth as an athlete. The judges tend to agree with him and are mesmerized by the peaceful look on his face as he chews his cage. When an athlete loves his sport this much it makes those endless hours of training much easier. And the judges say that he may not need a fancy medal but he is clearly a contender for the gold! 

So there you have it folks, your 2012 Olympic Freelance Marathon Chewing event. I think we can all agree that these athletes represent the best of the best and are all worthy of standing on the platform with a gold medal around their neck!

Please feel free to copy the medal and display on your blog.  Thank you for participating in this event and stop by and see us again.  It his been our honor to serve as your hosts for this event.

Be sure to check out the Authorized Marathon Chewing post as well as the other event for today:   Puddles hosting Marathon Digging

Murphy & Stanley


Anonymous said...

Oh My! Chairs, shoes, towels, mail?!!! Wow! What a clever destructive group BOL! Hilarious! Too funny! Thanks for the laughs All :D Super job as commentators again! Thanks for being such fabulous Hosts! :D

Waggin at ya,

Finn said...

So glad Finn isn't the only one who has an affinity towards the flip flop!! BOL! Great division!!!

Lassiter Chase and Benjamin said...

That was so much fun!!!! Mommy should take a picture of our chewed up duct tape chairs now! You are very right -- we are a very determined duo team -- and we kept on chewing the chairs all day and night for the Olympics! Now some chairs got pink and purple duct tape -- and one chair even has a checkered flag duct tape pattern. We chewed so much -- Mommy ran out of the tan duct tape she originally used at the start of this event! Thanks so much for hosting the chewing events -- it was pawsome!

Sarge said...

Bravo to you Murphy and Stanley fur you fangtastic
COMMON TATERing WHAT a superb group of athletes you have here. I can't EVEN imagine the HOURS of trainin that was required.
PeeS.. this SAYS it is from Sarge... butt it is REALLY ME (Frankie Furter)... Sarge went out to poop so I am using his computer.

BRAVO I say... BRAVO to your Athlete... they are REAL Winners.

Declan said...

Well done lads on hosting a brilliant competition! Deccy x

Sarge said...

Hey Murphy & Stanley!
Wow, what a fun group of competitors! These furiends are really in it to win it. This is a great show of creativity and diverse sporting. Totally impressive! Thanks again for the great event!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, Athlete

Jazzi said...

Loved the chews. My cousin Ivy from Texas was quite impressive, I could ONLY dream of accomplishling that bol
I was looking through and didnt see me and Addys chews.
I dont know how our assistant managed to miss this but yes she did!! I told her that me and Addy had excellent chews!! The approciate actions will be taken out for her bout this!!


Madi and Mom said...

Hi Murphy and Stanley
what a fun event!! I 100% believe all of the 4 leggers when they say they DID not chew anything they were not supposed to chew. I know for sure my BFFF Mayzie has very discriminating taste and would never chew a flip flop!! Everyone knows rubber isn't good for the tummy
Hugs Madi

harrispen said...

What a great competition. I loved the commentary!


Sarge said...


Wonderful Event and the Common Tatering was Brilliant.

Sweet William The Scot said...

Oh Dog those incisors and molars are working feverishly hope no one breaks a canine. Do you have a dentist here?
One great competition and a terrific job of hosting.
Sweet William The Scot

K9 Katastrophie said...

Great chewers!! Little Nola is so cute!

Shawnee the Shepherd said...

This was a most furry fun competition to be a spectator of. I BOL'd through all of the pawments, BOL, BOL. (Eggspecially Roo, who knew?) I did not pawticipate coz, well, I do not chew much any more and all evidences of my days as a young chewing athlete was chewed up by the pooter when it crashed the last time. Dang.

Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh we like this event!
Benny & Lily

Anonymous said...

Now that more like my kind of chewing, not a lot just enough to make the peeps upset!


chicamom85 said...

Bravo, Bravo, Outstanding Event!!

Loveys Sasha

Anonymous said...

Oh wow! What a splendidly close contest that was! ALL the entrants definitely deserve that gold medal - jobs well done! I didn't enter myself because - ahem - I don't chew... Unbelievable, eh?

Well done, all of you!

Big WOOFS from Solo

Au and Target said...

MOL! Pawsome! We love them all! But if we have to vote, we'd go for Deccy because of the HUGE BILL he landed his mummy with - considering she rescued him, Deccy has to have some real balls.

Oh right, he's a Retired Gentlemen Dog...

Winnie said...

What an event..... Well done Deccy and Bertie. I am very proud to be Team GB along with you today.

Love and licks, Winnie

The Cat From Hell said...

OMG Darwin and Einstien are in the chewing event! Those guys are incredible!
And what great company they are in! You guys made the best choice!
Kozmo at the Cat From Hell

KSO said...

Great job hosting! Everyone looks like they did a stand up job chewing!